About
As a young person, I decided to go to law school, hoping I could help others. I experienced my parents’ separation as a 4 year old, and while growing up, was thankful I did not live in a house with parents fighting, like I witnessed elsewhere. My parents, through the way in which they handled their separation, allowed me to be a kid. I did not experience stress about what went on between the two of them, and I was able to have a close relationship with both of them. As a young adult, I thought – hey, if they could separate successfully during the early 1970s, when resources were at a minimum, so too can others. Perhaps I was naïve, but I was hopeful!
I began practicing in Huntsville Ontario in 1997, and quickly discovered my clients’ wishes often differed from my belief of what a separation could look like. I found myself in family court, more often than not, advocating to advance my clients’ cases. Although I loved working with clients who wanted to negotiate separation agreements during those years, the majority wanted to proceed to court, or were required to, as the other side would not cooperate.
In my life, including my practice, I empower people to make their own choices for their own lives.
During these years, I was fortunate to join the Mediation Centre in Barrie, where I train in psychology, the brain, child development and so importantly, the effects of trauma. I also continued to experience life, including witnessing a high conflict separation of a close family member, separating myself, sharing parenting time with my son’s Dad, and becoming a step-mother. Through all of this, my commitment to what I knew to be true, strengthened. The separation, the conflict, the trauma – it does not have to define us. We are capable of creating a beautiful future from this point forward. And although I acknowledge there are exceptional cases that require a Judge, my belief is that most often, Court is not the place from which to create your future.
It finally took my own extreme trauma, that being the death of my husband in 2015, for me to create my own future. Watching Mark fight a very aggressive cancer opened me to a number of realizations. I know that being vulnerable allows for beautiful change. I know that being authentic to ourselves, and living authentically, is why we are here. I know that positive energy is beautiful, even when it comes from hurt. I know that trauma can be integrated into your life in a positive way. I know you must turn towards your hurt and trust you have the resources to move through. And I know we can consciously move forward, even after a tragedy – if we choose to. Those are my truths. I also know that not everyone thinks like me and that’s ok too – it’s important to choose the lawyer/mediator/coach that aligns with your truth and your values.
In my life, including my practice, I empower people to make their own choices for their own lives. I believe in autonomy. I help those who want to help themselves, who know that better is possible for them, who want to heal, who want better for their children, and who know they are capable beings and can sort their situation out. I believe that in honouring all of our choices that got us where we are today, we are in the best place from which to move forward.